HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"I met a man on the bus today... shook his hand..."

For Tina Turner-Soffel, biggest Penguin fan I know

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

Pink Taco... fine Mexican dining

Vagina Joe's? - The most amazing videos are a click away

Inconsiderate old woman joke of the day

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.

After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

So she shot herself in the left kneecap.

WTF? Ginger kids everywhere!

Few things scare me more than a large group of ginger kids. That's why when NYC-based Improv Everywhere decided to pull off their latest stunt to protest Wendy's racist logo, I decided to stay indoors that day. A group of over 50 firecrotches got together to protest this? I personally think they should have focused their efforts on this instead.

According to their website, "Improv Everywhere causes scenes of chaos and joy in public places. Created in August of 2001 by Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere has executed over 60 missions involving hundreds of undercover agents. The group is based in New York City."

"...the entire Internet has crashed..."

This is so damn funny:

"The Coolest Hipster Ever"

This shit is just hilarious!

Notable quote: "Before you, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were just Yeah."

"Talk to the hand, my ass"

Whooooooopi!

If this was any other celebrity, my boy Rizai would have probably gotten arrested. But Whoopi, of Sister Act fame, actually stood completely still while being groped... almost like a wax figure or something. It was a really weird, traumatic experience for everyone, and Rizai still hasn't spoken a word since this happened.

Seperated at birth?

Joakim Noah & Travis from Gym Class Heroes... the middle picture looks like an exact hybrid (Travis is rockin' the orange and blue gear).

No Homo OD

Thanks to Emo's dad for this one

I picked up an older woman at a club last night. She was hot (for 57).
We drank a bit, had a bit of a conversation, and she asked if
I'd ever had the sportsman's double?

I told her I wasn't sure what that was. She said it was a mother and daughter threesome.
Well, she was so attractive I figured the daughter had to be really hot, so I accepted her offer!
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night. I said that sounds great, let's go!

We went back to her place. She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"

can't get enough of this

Before...









After.

Amazing

cayden launched by momo

Couldn't help it...